What is The John Masse Show?
The best thing to happen to TV since the television.
What is the show about?
It's a fun show that's guaranteed to make you laugh. And by "you" of course I mean me.
We do everything from skits, parodies, random sketches, politics, current events, interviewing people on the street, proposing marriage to a hamburger, to getting attacked by yoghurt and singing Celine Dion. And that's just scratching the surface.
I love watching the show - and I'm not only the host, I'm also a viewer.
When and where is the show on?
Showtimes
I want to see your show but it doesn't air in my city/town/state!
DVDs are now available!
If you want to watch the show on TV while it's being broadcast live, contact us we'll send you more information - and my love.
I'm a comedian/actor/band/artist/origami maker. Can I be on your show?
Casting/Submission
I want to write for the show and/or have an idea for a skit/parody/the show. What do I do now?
Casting/Submissions
Your show is so great! I would love to help out in anyway I can. How can I be a part of your awesome team?
Join the crew
I really liked skit/show "X" and want to get a copy. Can I get a copy of any of the shows?
DVD
I think you're hilarious! You should do standup!
I do standup. Everyday. I also sit down. <---quite possibly why my standup comedy career didn't last.
I've actually performed onstage across the country and I absolutely love it. Since there's so much incorporated with this TV show right now there's not enough time for me to do both. In the words of Jesse Spano "THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH TIME!"
Your show is stupid!
Wrong.
Your show rules!
I agree!
Where do you come up with the ideas for the skits?
I'm not really sure but there's one thing I'm certain of. I'm not normal.
Most people see a commercial for yoghurt and think nothing of it. I see a commercial for yoghurt, am confused by the different spelling, and immediately I see myself getting violently attacked and "hurt" by the yogHURT.
On the DVD I explain some of this in more detail.
Do you really do everything for the show?
Don't be silly. Of course I don't do everything. I just produce, direct, write, act in, edit, promote and host the show.
Seriously?
Yes. I have a few people that I couldn't do the show without. Mike, Kev, and Guertin helped me with ideas and writing- and a few friends (Jon, Kenny, Sammy) that helped me out with graphics and promotion, as well as people that acted in the skits. I put a lot of time into the whole production and always do as much as I can myself...and love every part of it, but I would have no show without the people I just listed.
Can you give me a shout out on air?
Be it your name, your birthday, or your girlfriend "Smoochie Bear," if I gave a shout out to everyone that asked me I'd spend every episode saying "What's up to..." followed by everyone's name in San Diego. There are two ways I may mention you on air...
1. If you have a fan website completely dedicated to me and/or my show
or
2. You have a shrine in my honor and continually shamelessly promote the show.
You haven't responded to my email/myspace/letters/me standing on your doorsteps waiting for you to come home, etc.
I get a lot of letters/emails and try to respond to all of them. The majority of emails I get are "Ur sooo kewl and ur show is awwwwsuuum!!1!!3!1!!!" so I can't always respond. I appreciate the support and will usually try to send a 'thanks' to every email but I can't guarantee a response so please don't take it personally.
If there's an issue or something specific that requires a response I will always try to get back to you but I do have a lot of mail to go through so just be patient. And wait outside my doorsteps for me to come home.
I haven't seen you on AIM or myspace in days! Where are you?
Despite the fact that I'm an adult (in the legal sense, obviously not in maturity) I don't own a computer. I just bought my first typewriter so I guess I'm a little behind the times, but I'm working on it.
Of course running 2 websites (BillionaireBrothers.com and TheJohnMasseShow.com) combined with doing a TV show and networking, I try to get online as often as possible but it usually isn't daily. Unless you want to buy me a very expensive computer, I'll continue to get online as much as possible - which is usually at least once a week.
I love your show and you seem like an awesome person to hang out with/date/stalk! Let's meet up!
Well I am an awesome person to hang out with/date/stalk. But I've always followed my Mom's advice "Don't talk to strangers...unless they have candy. Then go away with them and don't ever come back."
So, can we hang out and be friends?
I love meeting new people and going out all the time, but most people can't handle me - especially in public. Although I have calmed down in my old age, I'm constantly entertaining myself.
A typical outing would be us walking together having a good time and all of a sudden I'll start sporadically shrieking at the top of my lungs and begin twitching uncontrollably (along the lines of the UConn Convuslions). People will stare, I'll continue on in my immaturity and you'll get embarassed.
After what I consider normal behavior and you consider a "scene," we'll be back to "normal." Then I'll randomly and nonchalantly walk up to people I don't know, call them by a name I designate for them, and shamelessly promote myself and my show. This will make you feel uncomfortable.
Basically what it comes down to is I speak my mind, act as I feel I need to in order to keep myself entertained, and I have yet to learn what a "comfort zone" is. I have no friends, and these are just some of the reasons why.
You can't really be this crazy in person...can you?
What you see on the show pales in comparison to my real life. Seriously. For additional info. just read/see a brief glimpse into some of my life at www.billionairebrothers.com
Wow, you really are crazy! Are you a schizophrenic?
Yes no.
What's your favorite food?
Oxtail, In-N-Out, and Churros.
What's the oddest thing about you?
Well, aside from everything, I have never had a cup of coffee in my life and I eat yogurt with a fork.
Why did you post those last 2 questions as they don't really have to do with the show?
Because if you want me to like you, you should buy me one of those foods and so you don't ask me if I "want to get some coffee?" or "in the yoghurt skit, you actually ate the yoghurt with a fork!!1!!2!!lol!!! Why did u do that??"
Wait, don't go yet! I have more questions for you!
So do I!
What?
~What?
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